Joy in the Journey

I know pictures of Ben is really what you want, so I'll start with one of them.

Andrew has been encouraging me to write my side of the birth story for the blog, so I thought Benjamin's due date would be a good day to post. Feel free to skip to the pictures.

Two years ago as I prepared to give birth to Abraham, I didn't know what to expect. I had many reasons to want a natural childbirth, and one primary reason to think that I could: women throughout time had always given birth without medication, and I was a woman. I believed that if I had enough "tools in my toolbox," that I could reach my goal of a birth without medication. On June 24th 2008, I gave birth to Abraham Craig Marshall, 8 lbs and 15 oz, after 44 hours of labor. I had reached my goal, but I was so exhausted that when Abe was put in my arms, I couldn't adjust him or move him at all. I was glad that I had given birth naturally, but it was very trying--mentally, emotionally and physically.

When it was time to start preparing for childbirth again, the reasons to have a birth naturally hadn't gone away, but I did not want to repeat that first experience. I really believed it was possible to have a joyful unmedicated birth from beginning to end, and I made that my new goal.

My good friend, Amy Thompson, invited me to take a Hypnobabies class with her at her house. This course helped me realize that maybe the solution for me was not that I needed to work harder, but rather that I needed to learn how to relax better and meditate, accept and enjoy each "birthing wave" instead of simply endure it. For the months leading up to Benjamin's birth, I spent many hours pondering and meditating, changing my negative thought patterns and learning how to completely relax.

Throughout the pregnancy I prayed that we could find a safe place for Benjamin to come in peace, and I knew God would answer that prayer. We thought we had everything settled until our first appointment July 8th. Andrew and I both felt uncomfortable there, so we prayed to know what to do. Two people served as messengers that evening to point the way to Special Beginnings Birth Center. We called that day, and they worked hard to fit us in the next morning and transfer our records right away. We didn't know how close we were pushing it!

Sunday we (accidentally) went on a very long walk, and Tuesday I hosted a dinner for eight people, and spent the whole day cleaning the house and cooking dinner. After everyone went home and we had cleaned up, I said, "I should probably take it a little easy until Benjamin comes." I felt pretty strong pressure waves fairly close together, but I decided that I just needed rest. So I went to sleep and had one of the best sleeps I had had in a while.

I woke up when Andrew got up for work Wednesday morning, and felt pretty strong pressure waves five minutes apart. I felt peaceful and very grateful that we would be heading to Special Beginnings. I stayed comfortable in a chair and rested while Andrew rushed around calling people, packing the bags and making me breakfast. I accepted each pressure wave happily because I knew that my new son would be coming so much sooner than anticipated.

As we drove the 1/2 hour to the center, my waves temporarily stopped allowing me to rest in the car. It was a really lovely time for me. I got to talk to my dad on the phone as he told me stories of my great-grandmothers. Thinking about them and the strong women they were gave me great comfort as I labored to bring another branch onto our family tree.

At the birth center Andrew gave me a beautiful, empowering blessing. We then relaxed for a bit before walking the stairs to help the labor pick back up. I found that listening to the relaxation CDs and focusing on relaxing was just as effective as walking around to pick my labor back up.

I labored peacefully from 10 am when we arrived until 5:30 when my mom arrived from the airport. I loved having Abraham close by, coming in and out with Melissa. I was so grateful for her short-notice help! She was a real angel to us.

We asked the midwife to fill the birth tub and break my water. I had a few minutes of peace while I climbed into the tub before transformation (transition) started. I had a couple of exhilaratingly strong waves, and then a very strong urge to push. I let it pass and told Andrew I was going to push on the next wave. In one push, I pushed the head out, and in the second push I pushed Ben's little body out. Andrew was the only one to catch him, and he calmly caught Ben while the midwife rushed in in time to help bring him to my chest.

This picture is of me right after Ben was born. I am looking to Abraham to see his response. My mom brought him in just in time to see him slip out. Benjamin came out quite purple and with lots of vernix, so I wanted to make sure Abe was doing okay, and I really wanted to share that moment with him. I was so thrilled that Ben was born and so glad I could share the moment with Abraham. (Note from Andrew: I love this picture! What a perfect expression of joy just seconds after Benjum's birth!)


Here I am in my nightgown leaving Special Beginnings around 10 pm the night Ben was born.
One of our angels, Sloane, Amy's cousin-in-law. She happened to work at SB, and happened to be on call for the duration of my labor. Her presence contributed greatly to the Spirit in the room.
Abraham really loves his brother. I only have to keep my eye on him because he wants to talk to and play with and kiss his brother all the time, even when he's sleeping. I can't wait for Ben to start being responsive so that he and Abe can really interact.
This is not the most flattering picture of me, but my mom took it because she loved how the only light in the room was shining on my face. That's how I felt; full of light. I am so thankful for how this experience has taught me that I have the choice to enjoy the process of life, not just focus on benchmarks. I have found that through Christ much in life we may fear has potential to be enjoyed.

Pictures of Baby Ben

A highlights reel and post from Ariel coming soon. Until then, enjoy the pictures of "Benjam" as Abe calls him (I call him Potato Bug King). Captions below the pictures.

Ben and our "Ham"

"Keep his head pointed at the camera, Abe."

Taken moments before this post.

Comf on the couch.

Preparing for his first Shakespearean soliloquy.

First bath.

We switched babies for a minute.

Case study on cause and effect: "I stick my finger in Ben's eye, and he . . ."

Benjamin James Marshall!

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong." (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

That proved the theme scripture for our experience bringing Benjamin James Marshall into the world yesterday. Here is our story:

Birthing Time. Ariel woke up with me at 6:20 a.m. on Wednesday morning. I was just about to get ready for work when she said she thought this might be it. She timed the pressure waves while I took a shower. They were five minutes apart. Game time. We made some calls to the birthing center, the pediatrician, Aunt Melissa and Mom Galli. We packed our bags, picked up Melissa, and went on our way to Special Beginnings, the birth center. Mom packed her bags and hopped on the next flight to Maryland.

Ariel performed heroically throughout the day. The waves continued fairly consistently from 10:20 a.m. when we arrived until 5:55 p.m. We used the Hypnobabies relaxation techniques we had learned and practiced over the last months. Ariel was really able to relax through the pressure. Her goal was to really enjoy the birth, and she did. She received a priesthood blessing, with promises that all came to pass.

Delivery. When Mom arrived at 5:30, we decided to break the water. That really helped Abe's birth move forward, and we thought after twelve hours of labor, it was the next step to take. They broke the water at 5:55 and Ariel and I got in the birth pool. She leaned over the edge, passed through a couple of serious waves and the next thing I knew there was Ben's head coming out! I called to the midwife and nurse who were out of the room, saying, "He's coming, he's coming!" But I didn't feel tense or afraid. I think the Hypnobabies stuff had rubbed off on me. :) While trying to put on her gloves our wonderful midwife said, "Wait, wait!" But he was coming out. I helped his little head out, and then his little body slipped easily out into my hands at 6:08. By then the midwife was there to help maneuveur him into Ariel's arms. Ariel perfomed perfectly gracefully, perhaps because so much grace attended her.

Benjamin has some brownish-reddish fuzz on his head, full Galli lips, long fingers, and my nose. Perfect bundle.

Post-partum. Ariel held him close to her for the following hours. No pricks, no pokes, no weighing, no scrubbing. Just time close to Mommy. He learned to nurse before long and they had a wonderful time bonding together. Ariel looked refreshed and perfect. We stayed for a few hours, they then performed a physical on little Ben--making sure his ears and arms flapped the right way (he's 7 lbs. 8 oz. by the way, and 19 inches)--and then we went home.
Special Thanks. We want to thank everyone who prayed for us yesterday. And we want to especially thank Melissa, who stayed with Abraham all day. We also want to thank Abraham, who never cried or complained. Even watching the birth he remained attentive and interested. He already loves his little brother. We thank Mom, who paid extra money to get out here quick. Her assistance there and here at home are invaluable. And we thank Joe, Janel, and Lynn, who all came to celebrate and support. Finally, we thank all of the good people at Special Beginnings. If you happen to live in the D.C. area and want a wonderful experience, this is the place to go. Thanks to Sloane, who stuck with us all day. Thanks to Nikki who helped deliver. Thanks to David who performed the physical. Above all, thanks to God for making this miracle possible. He led us through this. He supported us. He gave us His Son whose sufficient grace blessed us yesterday. The Plan of Happiness is unfolding more and more in our family. We are happy.

You've Got a Friend in Me

Recently I’ve thought a lot about friends. I’ve thought about many of the true, amazing friends I have had, from Upland Terrace Elementary to Brigham Young University. In each stage and place of my life Heavenly Father has blessed me with many friends who “stand by (me) . . . with warm hearts and friendly hands” (D&C 121:9). During the packing and unpacking of our lives I have stumbled into many letters, journals, pictures, music, and other mementos that have stirred in me a feeling of melancholy for the loss of friends through change, gratitude for them, and hope for future relationships with them and others.

Toy Story 3 moved me far beyond my high expectations. It drove home this theme of friendship and change in a most poignant way. It showed that mortality is made up of change and loss, but that the immortal nature of our souls makes change endurable. It showed the power of loyalty and teamwork, trust and love. I would write more explicitly on the film, but there may be some deprived readers who have yet to see it. Do see it as soon as you can. I attached myself to the Toy Story series (and to Pixar) from the opening release of Toy Story in 1995. I believe I saw it 9 times in theaters. I absolutely loved Toy Story 2, adding dimensions to the characters and complexities to their need for love. Toy Story 3 served as the perfect close to a perfect series (and please disregard the previews if you’ve seen them, which completely fail to capture its greatness). The boundless friendship of the Toy Story team comforts and inspires me. The film also touched me because of my very strong relationship with inanimate creatures, primarily made up of stuffed animals. Nothing makes me happier than seeing Abe play with my old friends, Wrinkles the Dog (my version of Woody), Blizzard the Bear, or Leo the Lion.

I knew I would have trouble putting pen to page for this post. The feelings I’ve had lately are too deep. There is a slim chance any of my friends will read this, but if you do, know that I am your friend. Know that our experiences together have not been forgotten, but that they are part of my immortal soul. Know that I am a loyal friend to you, even if I haven’t contacted you or heard from you in months, or even years. Know that I would do anything for my friends, you included. Whether our interaction took place at Upland Terrace Elementary, the East Mill Creek 2nd Ward, Evergreen Junior High School, Olympus High School, Big River at Hale, the Porto Portugal Mission, The University of Utah, Big River at the Grand, the Mount Ensign 2nd Ward, the Garden Park Ward, Brigham Young University's MPA Program, the BYU 87th Ward, the Partnership for Public Service or even the College Park Ward where we're making new friends each day, know that you've got a friend in me. And the experiences we had transcend their all-to-short length--they make up the eternal me, and for that I'm grateful to you. And how grateful I am that my very best friends are permanently attached to me, to infinity and beyond.

If you want to read a much better tribute to the idea of friendship, read this month's First Presidency message in the Ensign. I hope that I can be counted a friend of His.

Out of the Mouth of Abe

I was doing a little clean up in the kitchen, and Abraham came in and said to me, "Honey, Honey, Honey, don't wash those dishes, Honey!" He knows how to make a girl happy!

Everything

And (after two refreshing, sometimes frustrating, Internetless weeks) . . . we're back!

The Skinny:

The Move. All went well. Thanks to our Dads, Moms, Rachel, Micah, Julia, Amanda, Laurel, Thomas, and Richard for making the packing possible. We had a few adventures on our long journey, including an intoxicated, shirtless man in Macon, MO who could back a trailer and 22-foot truck up a dead-end road better than I could. Below you'll find a short reel from our drive. Don't watch this if you don't like me. It won't help.




The Place. We love it! Our apartment is spacious (by our standards), close to the Metro (I can walk) and the view out the window is just beautiful. Despite a few setbacks (wasps nest above the kitchen light, bike stolen, and no water today) it has all gone swimmingly. Speaking of which, we've had a great time in the apartment's swimming pool. A great way to relax after a long day.

The Job. Really great. I couldn't be happier in my job. The people are the best, the environment is totally my style--very team-focused and action-oriented--and my actual position, the FedExperience Program Coordinator, is challenging and exciting stuff. It's a clean 40 hour week each week, they are very family-friendly, and I have completely satisfactory pay and benefits. What more could I ask for?

The District. What a great place! We've been out two weeks and have hit up the Natural History Museum, the Zoo, Strathmore, a concert at the temple visitor's center, and the dress rehearsal for the Capitol Fourth Concert. And we're just getting started!

Enjoy the pictures.

I'd never seen a baby flamingo before. They make me laugh.

The Pregnancy. Again, all is well. Ariel has done absolutely amazingly with the packing, moving, and unpacking. My admiration never ceases to grow. "She's got more grit than any girl I've ever seen," as Huck would say. As of our last appointment all was well with Baby Ben. She's full-term today, so it could be any time! We've found a birthing center nearby that may be just the ticket. We're looking forward to another beautiful birth and another beautiful boy. Speaking of which . . .

Beautiful Boy #1. He's so amazing. Whether singing songs, quoting "Boundin'", drawing pictures, helping his Mama, or anything else, we just can't get enough of little Abe. He is ready for big brotherhood. Here's a little clip of the tyke on his birthday from last week. For the record, that's not a trick candle we gave him. Anyway, he's cute. Enjoy.


Finally, I can't help but write a few words about the country. I love this country. I love the freedom that I've been born into and enjoyed all of my life. I love America for its innovation, pastimes, creativity, family values, and for its beauty. I'm grateful to be a part of this promised land at this time, and feel that, for the most part, we are moving in positive directions. God bless America!